Each one of us have moments where we feel like going downhill (in different ways). I stumbled upon this online and I found it very timely. It's like a message in a bottle from Him, randomly floating in the ocean. I'm pretty sure a lot of people do. Everyone has doubts and anxieties about the unknown future, even what about what's to come the next day.
Personally, I've been going through my own bunch of turmoils everyday when I wake up: feeling pressured because we're at the 'starting your own family' stage and at the same time, my husband and I are both firstborns (meaning, we have that innate feeling / obligation to take care of our parents / family). Don't get me wrong, we love it. We do. It's something "panganay or subang" kids are familiar with. Of course, even the younger children feel the same but in our country, it's sort of a tradition.
I strayed a bit too far, but let's go back to talking about fears. Doubt really does a good number on me because everyday when I wake up, my first thought is usually "I need to make enough to [try] to save up for our household and make sure everyone's okay".
It's reached a point where I have convinced myself that I do not want to have kids anymore (and I have told my husband that) because if we do, we might not be able to fully provide for our families like we do right now. If we have children, how can we help with the bills and future health needs, and at the same time have enough for our own? I am afraid that it will hinder our primary obligation.
There was also a point where I did not feeling like getting out of our house at all to mingle with other people because in my mind, I would rather stay at home for the day so I could have more energy to keep working. My husband never got tired of snapping me out of it until I did.
He has his share of anxieties as well, probably much heavier considering that he is the man of the house; but I know that his faith is much stronger than mine. He knows how to dismiss unhealthy thoughts and feelings better than I ever could.
I strayed a bit too far, but let's go back to talking about fears. Doubt really does a good number on me because everyday when I wake up, my first thought is usually "I need to make enough to [try] to save up for our household and make sure everyone's okay".
It's reached a point where I have convinced myself that I do not want to have kids anymore (and I have told my husband that) because if we do, we might not be able to fully provide for our families like we do right now. If we have children, how can we help with the bills and future health needs, and at the same time have enough for our own? I am afraid that it will hinder our primary obligation.
There was also a point where I did not feeling like getting out of our house at all to mingle with other people because in my mind, I would rather stay at home for the day so I could have more energy to keep working. My husband never got tired of snapping me out of it until I did.
He has his share of anxieties as well, probably much heavier considering that he is the man of the house; but I know that his faith is much stronger than mine. He knows how to dismiss unhealthy thoughts and feelings better than I ever could.
That being said, I still get very anxious (to the point of becoming somewhat dysfunctional at times) even after I remind myself to not overthink things. I get very pessimistic and fearful of things that have not yet happened. I don't have the motivation at all to pursue my nursing career because at the back of my mind, I would rather not stop my momentum and just keep doing what I'm doing right now. Certainly, it's because my faith keeps faltering here and there.
Then I read this note. It's not going to happen overnight but I really wish that my faith will really let His love reach my core. I know it's all I need.
Anyhow, here is God's letter to each and every one of us. Not just get us through a semester, rather, to help us get through everything:
My Child,
The lack of motivation towards the end of the semester is normal. You are mentally and physically tired, but you are almost at the end. Don’t stop walking down the perfect path I have for you. When you’re going along and you come upon a speedbump, I want you to go over it and keep driving. The paper you have to write and the test you have to study for are just small speedbumps I have given you to make you wiser. You can write that paper and you can gain motivation to study for that test. I am here to give you strength, and am here to open up your mind and give you motivation.
You are so loved. You have such a beautiful mind. The light of Jesus shines through your eyes and your smile brings comfort to the world. There’ll be times you feel like you’re carrying a heavy load. There’ll be times you feel like the task I have given you is impossible to perform. But remember this: I would never put anything upon your shoulders that you cannot carry. If I put you in a certain situation, it’s because I know you are strong enough to go through it.
When you feel like crying, cry to me. When you feel like a failure, remember how much I love you. You are not a failure and you are not going to give up. I will hold your hand through every second of your life. I will seek your heart through your darkest moments. I see you, I see your heart, and I see your burdens. And remember that I have your heart which means I also have your burdens. Follow my footsteps and you will be free from the doubt. Remember Mark 4:40-41: “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” I have the power to calm any storm and wave. I have the power to calm YOUR storms and waves. Set your doubt, anger, and tiredness in my hands and simply be patient.
Romans 8:14-15 says,“For those who are led by the spirit of God are the children of God. The spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again, rather the spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.” Nothing can separate you from my love. Not even your lack of motivation. You have no motivation because you do not feel good enough. You are more than good enough. You were perfectly made by me and when I look down at you, I think of how proud I am of your heart.
Throughout the last few weeks of this semester, you will stumble upon speedbumps. But hold the hand of my son Jesus and you will be able to go over that speedbump with ease. Go write that paper, go study for that test, and go get an A in that class. I know you can because I have given you power.
Love,
God
From: http://theodysseyonline.com/clemson/letter-god-finish-semester/378357
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